Hello, I am back! I’ve been away from the blog since last year and the
reason for my temporary hiatus is because I was ill.
I was diagnosed with Graves’s disease in early 2018 and what
a journey I've had. I was in hospital for nearly a week. My thyroid was very
over-active.
Thyroid is a small, butterfly-shaped gland in our neck, along the front
of our windpipe. It makes hormones that help control many parts of our
metabolism, like how fast our heart beats and how fast we burn calories. Women
are more likely to have a problem with their thyroid than men.
I call it a battle because to me, that is what it was. At its worst I
thought I was going to die but thanks to my incredibly supportive family
especially my husband that I am still here.
I have always been quite healthy. I am a person
with loads of energy. It all started when I noticed a significant change
in my entire body. Friends and family commented on how
much weight I had lost. I had been trying to lose weight but had not realised
how much I’d lost. My clothes were becoming too lose and despite a good
diet I kept on losing weight until I was 10kg less than I had always been. It
was unbelievable considering I had never been able to shed any weight on
previous occasions.
Getting home from work,
from the moment I would sit or lay down, I knew I wasn't doing anything else
for the rest of the day. I had absolutely no energy to do anything. I was
exhausted all the time, even if I slept really well the night before. My energy levels were sinking at a dramatic rate. What had been a mere
breeze became an impossible task. In fact there were
times I just didn't want to get up and go to work.
I had a constant really
low mood, feeling cold and I kept on losing weight, despite eating a lot more.
I started to
feel light headed and nauseous. Sleeping became uncomfortable. Waking in the
middle of the night with cramp in my legs. I thought it may have been something
viral or it’s my diabetes.
My hair started thinning, turning to straw and breaking easily. It
came out in huge amounts when I combed it. I was horrified at the thought of
losing my hair. I also felt my hair was growing very slowly.
I couldn't
believe in such a short space of time how unwell I became. I also find it a
struggle to walk up one set of stairs. Leg muscles hurting when I climbed the
steps at home.
I was out of breath
from panicking and couldn’t stand up as the muscles in the backs of my legs
were shaking violently. I felt so sick and dizzy. My husband suspected low
sugar.
After about a month I
started to get more and more tired and slower in my thinking. I started finding
it harder and harder and just trying to manage day to day tasks became a
challenge. I just thought all these symptoms were normal for me and never
really questioned them or linked them in any way. Nobody thought it was a
medical problem – a working mum juggling with house chores was extremely
exhausting but you just have to get on with it. So that’s what I did for
another 3 weeks – soldiered on.
I was foggy in the
head. I couldn’t concentrate for very long and my memory was dreadful.
Sometimes I would stop speaking in the middle of a sentence because I’d
forgotten what I was saying. I couldn’t even form sentences properly and forgot
words.
I had strange episodes
of feeling like my body was shutting down. My skin was so dry that I had to
apply a moisturiser all over, every day. But moisturizing made no difference. I
just went from myself to feeling like I was aging superfast. My nails were weak
and breaking.
Despite having the most
supportive and understanding family, no-one knew what I really felt like. The
last thing I wanted was my family to worry about my health. I had never felt so
alone.
I didn’t tell anyone
outside my family how I was feeling. I did not see my mother and sibling for a
few months. I pushed myself to keep looking and behaving normally. I had a
family to look after. Some days my energy would suddenly sap to a massive low
and I’d have to just stop what I was doing - too tired to even finish washing
the dishes.
I was miserable, had no
interest in my blog or even cleaning the house, let alone anything that I used
to enjoy. I went about my day, going through the motions but not really being
there. I didn’t care and I wasn’t bothered.
I felt like I wasn't
part of my life anymore - just like I was watching from the sidelines.
I was bad tempered a
lot of the time. I made everyone's life a misery with my mood swings which
can turn at the blink of an eye. I didn't enjoy anything
and I couldn't laugh at anything. I had no interest and felt like I was going
mad.
Then I started to have a
sharp pain in my upper abdomen. I thought I was having a reflux again. So the
doctor put me on the highest dosage of reflux med he could prescribe. He then
sent me home after telling me to rest and it would go away. Unfortunately, it
didn’t and it only got worse when a few days later I started having heart
palpitations and a hand tremor for which I decided to consult another doctor.
He suggested for me to
go for ECG to check for signs of heart disease. The test came back positive and
he told me to see a heart specialist at Gleneagles but I told him that I need
to consult my husband first and asked him to prescribe something to slower my
heart beat.
Three weeks later I
thought I was dying. My symptoms were
debilitating and included vomiting and diarrhoea, trouble with my breathing and
heart palpitations that felt like I was having a heart attack.
Then I started to have
that sharp pain in my upper abdomen again then I decided to see the doctor
again. He did not know what to do as he
was the one who prescribed the highest dosage of reflux med earlier but the med
did not seems to work for me because the pain were getting a lot worse again.
He also said that there were so many things that didn’t make sense. He eventually arranged urgent referral to KPJ to undergo endoscopic.
After putting up with
these symptoms for a month then it wasn't until mid May of 2018 when I decided
to go to KPJ and undergo endoscopic to figure out what was going on with me but
the result came back negative. There’s nothing wrong with my abdomen.
The doctors
then decided to do a full workup of blood tests as they suspected I had thyroid
issues. Once the results came in, I was
told that my thyroid was so bad. It showed that I was hyperthyroid. They explained
I had Graves' disease and the condition,
the symptoms I was experiencing, why I was feeling the way I was and that I'd
need medication every day.
I felt
relieved that there was an actual diagnosis and it had not all been in my
imagination. However, I was feeling more and more ill. My heart beat was well
over 150 just sitting in my doctor’s office.
Due to my bad
conditions, the doctor had to put me in the ICU right away. I had several ‘thyroid
storms’ where my body just collapsed which can be fatal. I was treated with
highest dosage of Carbimazole and Propranolol for months.
In my case, the side
effect of the medications were severe skin rashes, muscle and joint paint,
changes in the way things taste and decrease in the normal numbers of blood
cells in the bloods. I was constantly scratching which affected my sleep and
warm weather worsened the itch. I was treated with antihistamines, painkillers
and given a big bag of calamine lotion to apply on my skin. Every evening, I
have to add 1 cup of baking soda to a big bucket of lukewarm water and soak in
it for at least 30 minutes.
The doctor
also recommended that thyroid blood tests are carried out every week and
overall it did take some time and adjustments to find the correct dose to keep
me in the normal zone. I really hope I can stay on the dose I am currently
taking.
He said I was fortunate
that my Thyroid Eye Disease (TED) was very mild.
In the first three
weeks it didn't seem like the tablets were working, in fact I felt like I was
feeling worse than before. I went back to the doctor who said that the tablets
take a while to kick in. After about six weeks I was starting to feel the
difference.
And then I was given
three options:- an operation to remove some of my thyroid, medication, or radio
active iodine. I have always had the utmost respect for the medical profession
so I asked for the doctor’s opinion. He favoured the second option because he
said my overactive thyroid was reacting well to the medication I had been
taking for weeks and at the moment he claim there’s no reason to remove it.
I have been
treated for more than a year now but getting the balance right wasn’t easy. It
took about months for it to stabilise.
I decided to focus my
energies away from feeling sorry for myself and into getting well again.
Getting my iron levels back up slowed my hair loss. Now,my hair is in much
better condition, doesn’t fall out so readily and new hair is growing back. My
weight has not really gone back to normal though. More than anything I’m warm.
It is sometimes
annoying having this condition, tablets every day. My kitchen cupboard still
looks like a pharmacy and I am still undergoing a blood test
every two weeks to check my thyroid’s hormone levels and also to
check my white cell count. However, the most annoying thing about having
to have a lot of blood tests is that I have very useless veins so it usually
takes them numerous attempts to take the blood. It does suck but life could be
worse.
I can't say I
feel 100% better because I don't, but I feel so much better and I am still
working on building up my energy reserve.
When I got my diagnosis
I was shocked at how many people did not know about the condition. I had to
explain it all to them which have in a way inspired me to write about my
experiences with hyperthyroidism.
Now I am able to manage
the daily struggle I have with the support of my family but I do find it hard
to tell people how I feel about it and what it is really like to have it.
I have so much
appreciation for my life now. I do have times where I feel like no one
understands that I have days where I feel tired. I am very lucky that it’s not
cancer and that although it won’t get better it’s probably not going to kill me
either.
We all want to be happy
and live a long and healthy life. Sometimes things don't work out the way we
planned. Sometimes life gets in the way.
People fight everyday
and sometimes we really don't know what a person is truly going through. You
have no idea what people are thinking and the obstacles they face. So don't be
too quick to judge. Everyone is dealing with a battle of their own. But if you
let it consume you then you allow it to win. Accept your struggles and find
peace with it. You are lucky that you are alive and that you can fight for
another day. Smile at everyone you meet and do not let anything get in the way
of you living your life to the fullest. You deserve all of the happiness that
this world has to offer.
The end result is that
my stomach is flatter and my boobs have gone down a bra size.
My regular doctor was
always very attentive and I was never made to feel I was wasting his time. Having a caring doctor who understood, took time to talk, answered my
questions and had the patience to help me through my nightmare, I can never
thank him enough.
Despite the
improvements I never quite regained my old self. Sometimes there is
forgetfulness, the fogged brain and difficulties with concentration and I have
never quite got over the tiredness. My hand would also fall asleep if I sat in
one position for very long.
It hasn't been
an easy journey but I've managed to carry on working and still enjoy life.It
has made me the person I am today.
