SPM is finally here!

Today, it's the first day of Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) exam in all the states in Malaysia. My son will be taking eight subjects for SPM. So the next one month will be very crucial for him. His thirteen years of schooling is finally coming to an end. But to me, he will always be my little boy.

My boy is a slightly below average performer in his studies. He was born with a learning disability which means -- he could not spell, could not read, and he would get letters backwards and numbers in the wrong order. Being born a dyslexic means having to work extra hard and we're very well aware that there're obstacles for him to achieving his dreams. But we will make sure that he will not give up that easily without a fight. 

He was diagnosed with Dyslexia when he was in Standard Two. He’s quite outgoing but does have trouble with socialising and dealing with stress. By Standard Three, he still hadn’t learned to read and we were very desperate. He could not even hold a pencil properly. He showed signs of delay with every benchmark, from learning letters and sounds, to writing his name.  He showed little interest in reading and drawing, no matter how much we encourage him. He sometimes came home saying things like "I'm the sxxxxxxxx person in my class". We always reassured him that it wasn't true. It was always acknowledging that school was tough but that he could do it. His teachers misunderstood the symptoms and punished him or labelled him lazy or misbehaved. The Education Department then suggested that he attend a special education school. We decided we had no time to waste and put a strategy together to fix my son. It’s not a death sentence. We then sent him to a tutor who understood the problem -- he had to learn to read. 

But it wasn’t enough that he was taught by understanding teachers and had access to special tutors after school. So it was up to my husband and me. 

The way we dealt with it is by helping him organise his study routine. At the same time we learned to be patient.  Some days were harder than others but he came through all his tests and exams.  Over the years we’ve developed ways of coping with his Dyslexia’s. I’ve read lots of books and learnt through trial-and-error. There were times when his dyslexia affects his behaviour -- perhaps when he has trouble understanding simple instructions, his frustration makes him grumpy. The biggest thing I’ve learned is not to yell back when he gets angry. It only makes things worse. I learned to stay calm. He just needs to take a bit more time.

Then when he was in Standard Five, I decided to quit my high-paying job at an offshore bank and move to Kuala Lumpur to join my husband so that he can coach my son, for his Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR) examinations. We knew nobody else could help him but my husband and me – especially my husband. Most of our times were spent coaching him. At the same time being careful not to scare or confuse him.

It was so stressful, suffering sleepless nights and worrying about his performance and future. Yes, we got him through the UPSR. The relief we felt when he passed was priceless. Was it worth it? Of course it was.

We’re extremely concerned about how he’s going to make a living for himself in case he can’t do well in studies. So when we moved to Kota Kinabalu a couple of years ago, we decided to have him take guitar lessons. It’s also to help him practice his fine motor skills. We’re aware that learning to play the guitar could be difficult for him but we went ahead anyway. Fortunately, my son’s music teacher was a kind person and very curious. We never told his problems to the music teacher though. The teacher has helped him progress at his own pace and encouraged him. He loves playing the guitar. He likes the fact that he can sit down and bash out a tune where most of his friends who are good at sport, reading etc can't. It's a great confidence booster for him. Now his friends have already made plans to further their studies and yet my son is still clueless about his future.

No matter how we tried to be more creative and persistent and yet my son’s educational journey is still extraordinarily difficult. 

I am very proud of my son, it’s a blessing to have him and we're thankful every single day for being able to raise such a precious miracle. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Having a dyslexic child can be very frustrating at times. Ultimately God is the author of all knowledge.  I hope that God would lead us to just the right people, resources and help that my son needs.